RIVERBEND – In 1978, 23-year-old Steven Kubacki disappeared on Lake Michigan. He woke up in a field in Massachusetts 15 months later, with no memory of what had happened.
Or so he said.
In his newest book — “The Disappearance: Conspiracy, Revolution, Revelation…The Extraordinary Disappearance of Steven Kubacki (After 45 Years of Silence)” — Kubacki, PhD, reveals what happened all those years ago and why he feigned his disappearance. “I have perfect recollection,” Kubacki said.
In the years leading up to that fateful day in 1978, Kubacki became known as a rebellious, idealistic student. He would often skip classes to travel, then return, ace the tests, and “piss off [his] professors.” Growing up in the Vietnam War and the Cold War eras, Kubacki was disappointed by the world and its violence. He came from a lower-middle-class family and was unimpressed by the class differences he observed at the prestigious Deerfield Academy prep school he attended. He wanted to create something better. “I was very rebellious and very curious and wanted to change the world and make it better. Like a typical teenager, I wrote about how the world needs more love,” Kubacki recalled. “I felt I needed to do something to change things. So a number of us got together, and we decided to form a conspiracy.” They decided Kubacki would disappear. Not only would this “cement the commitment of everybody,” but Kubacki would also use his time underground to organize “a form of resistance to the power structures that existed.” Meanwhile, Kubacki’s peers would go into politics, religion and finance, to influence the world from positions of power. The day before the disappearance, Kubacki was “really jazzed up.” “I was about to do the unthinkable, the impossible, and I knew once I did it, my life would be changed forever. There was no going back,” he remembered. “It felt like I had a calling, like I was being guided by the universe, the incomprehensible.” He was gone for 15 months. In that time, Kubacki’s moral fiber was tested. He attempted to join the French Foreign Legion and witnessed a deadly beating. His group of peers began to break up. “I couldn’t carry out the mission,” he explained. “My mission was to go be underground, start a resistance movement, and I tried to do that in different ways. But it was like I was peering into the abyss into becoming a very different person, and I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t become a sociopath. I couldn’t become a killer, in a sense. I couldn’t do it. I never did anything like that, but I was about to. And when push came to shove, I couldn’t do it.” Fifteen months after his disappearance, Kubacki decided it was time to reemerge. He recalls being in a “semi-dissociative state” when he appeared in Massachusetts. Immediately, the media wanted to know more. And so Kubacki, to protect himself, his family, and the peers he had worked with, claimed amnesia. He went on to start a new life and become a clinical psychologist. His urge to help others never went away, but he found a new way to do it. Today, he believes in “radical transparency.” “What did I learn?” Kubacki said. “I learned if you’re going to really change the world, you need to do it in a public way. You need to be really transparent. And I think focusing more on love and compassion and caring is what was really the key.” You can read more about Kubacki’s story in his book, “The Disappearance: Conspiracy, Revolution, Revelation…The Extraordinary Disappearance of Steven Kubacki (After 45 Years of Silence).” Click here to learn more about the book, including how to purchase your own copy.
